Impractical joke

pie-in-face

Believe it or not, for several years, I worked in a hospital research lab. (Won’t mention which Toronto hospital lest people stop taking their sick children there.)

What I hadn’t realized until one fateful day was that not only was I a pretty good biochemist, but I was also a damned fine engineer…when motivated.

And what better motivation than a plate of whipped cream to the face. Really, the old pie-in-the-face chestnut.

And the chortling culprit was a friend who worked across the hall. (I won’t name names because Andy, who was still quite green then, is now a medical practitioner.)

We laughed. Boy, I sure look silly. You got me. And now…you must die (of embarrassment)!

Doing my best MacGuyver, I set to work.

Pyrex baking dish? Check.

Cling film? Check.

Wood block? Check.

Masking tape? Check.

Water? Double check.

Tools

The plan was simple. Convince A.G. that he had a research paper we needed in his desk drawer, which we had booby trapped with a tray of water.

When he opens the drawer, AHA!

Oh wait, the tray will slide backwards.

Support the tray in the drawer so it doesn’t slide, and AHA!

Nuts, even if he pulls the drawer forward, Conservation of Momentum says the water will slosh the other way.

Cover most of the tray with cling wrap so the water has nowhere to go and sloshes back all the more forcefully, and then AHA!

Oh but why would he sit down to open the drawer…they slide so easily.

Stick masking tape under the upper rim of the drawer so he has to yank it open, and then… (Aha, right?)

Yes, Aha.

AHA!

To avoid suspicion, I had a mutual friend ask Andy for the paper…he sat at his desk and tugged the drawer, but it was stuck. Sitting at the desk, he pulled harder and yanked the drawer open. And was hit with a wall of water that completely drenched his lower half.

AVENGED!

He wandered the halls looking like the Lusitania went down in his pants.

It may all be quite silly to you, but to this day, this represents my greatest engineering feat…something that, for me, rivals the Pyramids of Egypt and those irritating metal ring puzzles.

Booby trap

(This silly memory prompted by yesterday’s post by Ned Hickson about his fake poo…you think it’s easy being this juvenile?)

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