Daily Archives: May 19, 2013

WordPress numerology

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So, WordPress just congratulated me on the number of “Likes” I have received so far on the blog.

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First, let me say thanks to all of you who hit the appropriate button.

But 1337? Am I missing some numerological significance to this number?

Two seconds on Google and I learn that I may have fallen into the ASCII rabbit hole, having entered an elite or “leet” status.

Alternatively, my blogs are being blamed for initiating the 100 Years’ War.

Regardless, I repeat my thanks to the many visitors.

Pride Week

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The last week of June each year, the City of Toronto explodes with colour and excitement as the fever of inclusion takes over the city. It’s another Pride Week.

Gay, straight, budgie…whatever you consider yourself, if you haven’t experienced the pageantry of Toronto Pride Week, you should consider your life cheapened. You should then get your butt to Toronto and party.

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Following on the success of Pride Week, however, the other Deadly Sins have petitioned for their own festivals.

Greed Week is slated to run over two weeks and its organizers are actively petitioning for a third.

Wrath Week got pissed at everyone and so plans to do its own thing.

Planning for Envy Week has been difficult as organizers keep asking for the date to be moved because they feel the other Sins got better dates.

Lust Week started slow and gentle but really built up a head of steam before petering out.

Avarice Week demanded the largest budget and still refused to control its expenses.

Sadly, Sloth Week just never really took off.

(Note: Photo is property of Pride Toronto and is used without permission.)

First d(r)aft

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Three days. I have three days to come up with another 10 pages from my latest screenplay for a reading and critique in my screenwriting class. And I have nothing.

Well, that’s not technically true. I have something. I have the architecture of my screenplay written out…I know where I want to go and what steps I need to take, broadly speaking, to get there.

But those are just a series of incomplete sentences that barely fill a page. I need 10 pages of a screenplay. I need narrative (not too much, as is my wont) and dialogue, and yet everything I write right now reads like crap. Absolute, utter drivel.

Welcome to the first draft.

I love to brainstorm and come up with new ideas. Ideas for new screenplays. Ideas for scenes within those screenplays.

Brainstorming is exciting. Everything is possible, so I am at my most creative. Nothing comes off the table, and every idea leads to several others.

I love to plan. I like to arrange those ideas into a semblance of order…it is quite literally the assembly of a puzzle. What if I moved this scene from the first part of Act II to just before the climax? How does that change the story?

But at some point, I have to stop brainstorming and planning. I have to start writing. I have to take those incomplete sentences and turn them into coherent scenes of people interacting with people—directly and indirectly—to accomplish goals and thwart those of others.

And even that description of the process sounds interesting. But then I begin typing and my words take on the feel and smell of two-week old cod.

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If the mom character was any stiffer, you could iron shirts on her. Why not just have the son respond “Oh yeah!” and euthanize all of your creative ambitions?

You want the boat captain to do what? Even the most psychotic of fishermen wouldn’t contemplate that idiotic move! What was your research: old Popeye cartoons?

You suck! You suck! You suck!

Okay. Feel better now? Had your little tantrum. Your little pity party. Ready to move forward? Take a deep breath.

This is your first draft, and it’s gonna suck. That’s what first drafts do. But it’s the first draft that sucks, not you.

The idea is still sound. Story improvements you can’t see right now will arise in the workshopping process. The dialogue can be massaged and the narrative edited…in your second draft. You can move some of the scenes around to enhance the conflict…in your third draft.

The only thing about what you are doing today that is anywhere near a final draft is the name of the screenwriting software. [NOTE TO FINAL DRAFT: Give some thought to changing the name of your software. Too much pressure for some of us to handle.]

You’ll be fine. Your story will be fine.

Just start typing…