Louisiana swamp – part one

This past week, I had the luxury of visiting New Orleans on behalf of a magazine for which I write (DDNews). And not one to let an opportunity pass, a friend and I decided to take a swamp tour in Breaux Bridge, a small town outside Lafayette.

My thanks to Cajun Country Swamp Tours for what easily has to be the most enthralling two hours of my life.

Still waiting, Spring!

In an ironic twist on an otherwise mild winter in Toronto, the month of April has been our snowiest month…and we’re only half way through the month. That said, it was gorgeous on Thursday, so I took advantage and wandered down to the boardwalk with my camera.

Marlies vs IceCaps – 16.03.29

Closing out a 12-game regular season series on Tuesday, the Toronto Marlies played host to the St. John’s IceCaps, AHL affiliate of the Montreal Canadiens. Despite Toronto’s amazing record – still first overall in the AHL with a 0.730 win percentage – the IceCaps have been a particular thorn all season long. But not this night.

Although the game was closer than the final score may indicate, the Marlies came out on top in this game 4-0, the two teams splitting the season 6-6.

Game highlights

Marlies edge Phantoms – 16.03.18

On Friday, the Toronto Marlies took on the Lehigh Valley Phantoms, AHL farm team of the Philadelphia Flyers.

Despite being first in the league, the Marlies had been playing poorly lately and needed a win, which they managed by coming back from a 2-0 deficit late in the third period to win the game 3-2 in overtime. (Game highlights here.)

 

Early birds of Spring

Just over a week ago, I took a few days to wander through different parks and nature trails crisscrossing Toronto…and even with a warm spell melting the snow, I was surprised at how many local birds had already started to make their presence known locally.

Toronto Marlies v WBS Penguins

A handful of the better shots from Friday’s game between the #1 (Toronto Marlies) and #2 (WBS Penguins) teams in the American Hockey League standings.

Toronto came back from a 2-0 deficit after two periods to defeat Wilkes-Barre/Scranton 4-2. (Video highlights)

Let go(al) and let…just let go

Mountain

Don’t have to climb the mountain to admire its beauty

Where do you see yourself in five years?

It’s a common question at job interviews and often creeps in silently when people reach age or career milestones.

Rephrased more broadly, it is asking: What are your goals?

In most Western societies—the only ones I really know—we are told it is good to have goals; that you need to set your sights on a destination and follow that path to its conclusion. It is how you get ahead. It is how you find happiness, or at least the stuff that brings happiness.

I have spent my life working this way.

Checklist

Life goals complete

I tell you this not to present my resume—you can find that on my LinkedIn pages (yeah, I have two)—but rather to explain the pattern of my life (and probably yours) in contrast to where I am today.

You see, for the first time in my life, I have no goals. And I am finding it incredibly disconcerting.

Sure, like everyone else, I have daily, weekly, monthly and yearly obligations.

I need money to pay for rent, food, bills, hockey tickets, beer. I have editorial deadlines and the odd gift to buy. But I have no long-term goals. I am living my life without my next destination in mind.

Five years from now? Hell, I sometimes don’t know where I’ll be five minutes from now.

In some ways, I am as close to living in the moment as you can get without living under a tree or in a cave (basement apartment notwithstanding). And it’s freaking me out.

Having a goal is a hard habit to break after 50+ years.

Butterfly

What if I had missed this moment?

To be clear, I’m not looking for a goal—floating freely has some lovely benefits—but I struggle some days to know what the point of my day is or was.

Simply being is really simple—it requires no preparation or gear—but our society has taught us that it is wasteful; that it is selfish; that even our “free” time must be productive.

Having no goals, I find, is entirely selfish. I can only affect change in myself.

But I’ve come to realize that “selfish” isn’t bad in and of itself; only when it negatively impacts others, which I don’t believe I am.

Still, like a good Pavlovian pound puppy, I sometimes find myself whimpering at the window, waiting for someone to throw the stick of destiny, to give my life meaning and purpose.

Is it okay or desirable to lead a purpose-less life? Is that my purpose? [Never met-a-physics that didn’t hurt my brain.]

But then, it’s 7:30 a.m. and the alarm goes off. I turn it off and go back to sleep.

Life without goals definitely has its upside.

What I miss most

Iris

Despite being divorced, I will be forever grateful for my amazing marriage and am fortunate to maintain a friendship with my former spouse that will hopefully last a lifetime.

But even with that companionable joy, there are things I miss about sharing my life with another, moments and situations remembered with a smile and an emptiness.

Walking into a room and knowing you were there.

My lap being used as an ottoman while watching TV.

Resting my head on a cushion and smelling your perfume.

Knowing you’ll be completely unconscious 10 minutes into the movie you chose.

Feeling the bed jostle as you roll over in the middle of the night.

Sensing your skin millimeters before actually touching it.

Shared silence.

A bed that is mussed on both sides.

Watching you engrossed in an activity.

Knowing you’ll be home any minute.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all, whether partnered or not.